The Misadventures
by Dammit Kirito
Summary: hey, if you're feeling down and in need of a laugh, read this trash!11! badly written crack is all you need in life, trust me! contains badass japan, fangirl germany, and kinky canada. APH JESUS GUARANTEED.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: so I wanted to write one of these crack drabble things because I like writing stuff that doesn't make any sense. chapters will be really short and won't be elaborately written. enjoy~

* * *

_'I hope I am not late' _thought Germany as he grabbed a net which was hanging from a hook. He ran down the stairs as fast as possible and hurried outside. Japan and Italy were waiting patiently at the door. They also had their nets with them.

"Sorry it took so long," Germany said, "I was looking for my net."

"It's ok Doitsu-san, but now we must hurry," Japan replied. The three nations hurried to a field.

Jellyfish Fields.

Germany immediately spotted a blue jellyfish, a rare jellyfish that can talk.

"Look. Over there," Germany whispered to Japan and Italy. He pointed at the jellyfish who was in the bushes. Italy's eyes widened in excitement and Japan smiled.

The three of them hid behind a bush. Germany's eyes sparkled with delight and his cheeks were pink. He went towards the bush and swiftly used his net to catch the jellyfish. "Say something," Germany said, breathing heavily.

"Fuck off," the jellyfish replied. Germany dropped his net in shock and the jellyfish swam away. He started to tear up. "Don't worry Germany! There are many more jellyfish to catch!" Italy said comfortingly.

Germany's eyes hardened and glared at his net.

"I am never jellyfishing again."

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

Germany was very annoyed. More annoyed than usual. The reason? Someone messed up his house. Germany was very tired (I think the reason is obvious) and didn't feel like tidying at all. He locked his bedroom door and sulked.

Prussia knocked on Germany's door. "Oi, West, I ne-"

"OH MEIN GOTT, FUCK OFF BRUDER!" Germany shouted.

Prussia silently laughed at Germany's attitude. "Okay! Jeez, someones on their time of month! Just to tell you, Austria, Switzerland and Liechtenstein are coming over!" Prussia said.

Germany groaned. The house was still a huge mess. "But bruder, the house is a mess," Germany muttered.

"Kesesesese! I already tidied it!" Prussia replied and went off.

Germany was slightly less annoyed and got up. He left his room and went downstairs.

_DING DONG! _The door rang.

Germany sighed. He heard arguing outside. Germany opened the door and let Austria, Switzerland and Liechtenstein in. Germany shoved Austria and Switzerland in the sitting room.

"Guten tag, Mr. Germany," Liechtenstein greeted Germany.

Germany looked down at the smaller nation. And squealed. He picked up Liechtenstein and hugged her.

"SO CUTE, OH MEIN GOTT, HOW CAN ANYONE BE THIS CUTE!" Germany cried out.

"M-Mr. Germany, I c-can't b-breath!" Liechtenstein choked out.

"AWW, SHE'S EVEN CUTE WHEN SHE'S GETTING BRUTALLY MURDERED BY ME!" Germany hugged her tighter.

"MR. GERMANY STOP!"

"NEIN! I CAN'T LET GO OF SUCH A CUTE LITTLE THING!"

Prussia came down the stairs and saw Germany squeezing the life out of poor Liechtenstein.

"West, no one likes it when you go into super-ultra-fangirl mode."

The end.


	3. Chapter 3

"I look like a fucking boss!" America cried as he put on a pair of badass sunglasses. He was wearing an spy outift. And he did look like a fucking boss.

Japan put on a wavy purple wig. "Beautiful," Japan murmured as he looked in a mirror. He was wearing a purple sailor outfit. He was indeed beautiful.

"What the fuck," England said angrily as he looked in the mirror. He was wearing a pink dress that went all the way down to his feet. A curly pink wig rested on his head. And to top it all off, there was a unicorn horn on his head.

"Dude, you look like that pink pony thing from that shitty show you watch!" America laughed.

"You mean Pinkie Pie, and Pinkie Pie isn't unicorn. Get your bloody facts right!" England retorted angrily.

"Igirisu-san, I think you look pretty. Let's go now or we'll be late." Japan said.

America and England nodded and followed Japan out of the room. They arrived in front of a room. Japan knocked three times on the door.

"Welcome to my salad party. Make yourself at home," muttered a person dressed in a cloak. Everyone in the room wore cloaks and were eating salad.

"HEY!" Japan shouted angrily. "YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A RAMEN-WITH-DRESSING-UP PARTY! FUCKING RIDICULOUS! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS SHIT! YOU LYING BASTARD! AIYAH! KIDS ARE SUCH FUCKING LIARS THESE DAYS! DISHONOR ON FUCKING YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR FUCKING COW! COME ON AMERIKA-SAN AND IGIRISU-SAN! I APOLOGIZE FOR SHOUTING!"

Japan apologized a hundred times to America and England and they went back to Japan's house for some tea.

The end.


	4. Chapter 4

DELETED CHAPTER!

I really hate this one

and there's no point in doing a different chapter here because no one will read it

and if I actually delete it, it will mess up the Valentine's day chapter which is chapter 69 ( this is an actual coincidence, I never meant for this to happen! But it has and I don't want to get rid of it )

You may carry on!


	5. Chapter 5

Italy bought a hat.

"Italy... I didn't want to say this in front of the others... but that hat makes you look like a girl," Germany said.

"Am I a pretty girl?" Italy asked hopefully.

"Oh well, erm... you-you're beautiful," said Germany awkwardly.

Italy giggled.

"How am I still friends with you two?!" Japan muttered under his breath. That question was remained unanswered forever.

The end.

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A/N: yes that is from Spongebob.


	6. Chapter 6

"Boo."

"ARGH! WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?!"

"Sorry Prussia-san, I was practicing my ninja skills," said Japan, shrugging sheepishly.

"That wasn't very nice to the awesome me, hmph," Prussia pouted.

"I know but I do not care." Japan walked away, preparing to scare someone else.

_'That was so mean! The awesome me needs to get the unawesome Japan back!'_ Prussia thought.

~Later~

Japan was making tea while Prussia creeped up behind him. Japan noticed Prussia immediately but pretended not to notice him.

_'Kesesesese! The awesome me is going to totally scare Japan!'_

Japan turned around and tickled Prussia. "WHAT, AHAHAHAH, THE FU-AHAHAHA!"

Japan stopped tickling Prussia and took out a pair of badass sunglasses. He put them on and walked away like a fucking boss.

"WHAT THE FUCK, JAPAN! YOU ARE SO UNAWESOME!"

Japan kept walking away while an explosion happened in the background.

(⌐■_■)

The end.


	7. Chapter 7

Netherlands was so bored. He was reading romantic poems but there was a limit to how many romantic poems you can read in one day. And he didn't feel like smoking either. He aimlessly walked around his house. And then he found a mirror. He looked in the mirror.

"Are you from the Netherlands?" He asked himself as he looked in the mirror. "Because AmsterDAM!"

He laughed for ages. It's not even funny.

The end.


	8. Chapter 8

Romano and Germany were drunk. Oops.

"Heeeeeeeeeey, potato bastard, you fucking my brother?" Romano hiccuped.

Germany giggled. "Maybe? But guess what?"

"What?"

"I think youuuu," Germany poked Romano on the nose, "are fucking Spain!"

Romano blushed. "What's it to you, potato bastard... Spain is my bitch! But anyway, I bet French bastard and English bastard are fucking each other. "

"I know right?! All that hate is just unresolved sexual tension!"

Romano giggled. "Exactly! And guess what?"

"What?" Germany took potatoes out of his pocket and started eating them.

Romano looked disgusted at the potatoes. "Fucking Turkey and Greece!"

Germany choked on his potatoes. "The fuck?! I always thought it would be Japan who would be doing Greece!"

"Nooo of course not! Japan is..." Romano whispered the name of the person in Germany's ear. Germany gasped.

"THAT'S SO CUTE!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?!"

"OH MEIN GOTT! I would have never thought it would be him!" Germany shrieked.

"I know! I saw them together and it fucking ruined my childhood but at least I found out! Hey, wanna make flower crowns?"

Germany's eyes lit up. "Of course!"

They went to make flower crowns with the flowers in the garden. They looked so beautiful.

Japan went into the garden.

"Doitsu-san and Romano-san are very girlish?!"

The end.

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A/N: ahahaha I'm such a troll for not revealing Japan's lover/fuck buddy :P


	9. Chapter 9

"Do you like pancakes? Yeah I like pancakes! Do you like waffles? No, I like pancakes! Do you like french toast? No, I like pancakes!"

America glared at Canada. "Shut up Mattie, that song is so annoying!"

"DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES? YEAH I LIKE PANCAKES! DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES? NO, I LIKE PANCAKES! DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST? NO, I LIKE PANCAKES!"

America breathed in and out, trying to stay calm.

"DO YOU LIKE PANCA-"

America walked away, slamming the door as hard as he could.

"My plan worked Kuma! Now I can smoke with Tim and Al won't even know!"

The end.

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A/N: that's right bitches, that was some implied Nedcan :P and thanks so much for the reviews, they really make my day :D


	10. Chapter 10

Hungary invited Japan and France over to her house. With their cameras. Because it was that time of month again. NO NOT THAT ONE! EW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! It was that time if month where they gathered up all their yaoi pictures, you bastard. Hmph! Some people! Well anyway, they got a lot of pictures.

"Aw look at this one of England and our very own Francey-pants!" Hungary exclaimed.

"Ehehehe, can I keep that one, mon ami?" Hungary just smirked at him.

"Ah, look, Turkey and Greece! So adorable! Japan, when did you take this?"

"They were arguing and called me over. And I locked them in a room."

"Ohonhonhonhon! I am so proud of my little Japan!"

"Please refrain from ruffling my hair. Oh my, look at this one of Doitsu-san and Italia-kun. How cute!"

Hungary squeaked in delight and her nose started to bleed. "Excuse me for a second guys, heh," Hungary ran off to get a huge box of tissues.

"Ohonhonhonhon! Japan! You certainly had some fun!" France held up a picture of Japan and someone else and Japan snatched it out of his hands.

"Ah, when did you take that, erm, picture?" Japan blushed. France just winked. "Ancient French secret~!"

Hungary came back and saw the picture. And squealed. And nosebleeded. Again. "Finally! You two hooked up!"

Japan looked away. "Erm... HUNGARI-CHAN, THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE!"

Hungary and France kept teasing Japan and Japan left... with his 'special' pictures.

The end.

* * *

A/N: I am really (not) sorry for being a troll again and not saying who Japan was with :D


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: here, have some FACE family *shoves it in your face* oh and I don't own the song, it's from ANT Farm :D

* * *

America was eating donuts. They were good donuts.

"HEY MATTIE, HAVE SOME DONUTS WITH ME!" America yelled.

"But I'm having pancakes, and pancakes are better than donuts, eh?"

"YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!"

"I think I did," Canada replied, his voice filled with _sass._

America gave a loud and dramatic gasp. And started to sing.

"_Donut make you sad, donut make you cry, when the person you love often says goodbye_," sang America.

"Bloody hell, he's singing that daft song again!"

"Come, mon cher, let us warn everyone that Alfred is singing again!"

"Oh maple," whispered Canada.

"_I'm feeling so plain, I'm feeling old fashioned, life's kind of stale, my days have no passion, there's a hole in my life._"

"Bloody hell, he could at least sing a different song!"

"_It hurts so bad, right in my sprinkle, but now I'm movin' on to better days, I'll powder my nose, I'll put on some glaze_!"

Canada was silently crying and clutching on to France and England.

"_My pain's a day old, no, I won't be a quitter, someone will love this sweet apple fritter!_"

The three suffering nations winced as America hit the high notes.

"_It feels better now...donut_?" America finished the song and everyone in the world let out a sigh of relief.

By the way, it was Canada's fault that America sang that awful song.

Wow, thanks a lot Canada.

The end.


	12. Chapter 12

"Canada, I know what we're gonna do today!" exclaimed America.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ugh, don't you get the reference?" America huffed.

"Erm...no?" Canada didn't know what America was talking about.

America rolled his eyes. "Hmph. Some people are just so uncultered."

"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about!"

"Hey, where's Iggy?"

"What?"

"Curse you Canada the Country!"

"Seriously, fuck you."

"Matthieu! Please, no cursing!"

"Sorry Papa."

The end.

* * *

A/N: I MADE A REFERENCE NO ONE WILL GET XD

it's Phineas and Ferb by the way :P


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Prupan and Ameripan, huh? Both of them are my OTPs :D (It's not South Korea or China ;)

* * *

"Roma~!"

"Fuck off."

"Romaa~!"

"I told you, fuck off."

"ROMAA~!"

"I SAID FUCK OFF!"

"ROMAAAAAA~!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, BASTARD!"

"ROMAAAAAAAAAAAA~!"

_Silence_.

"Roma~?"

"ROMAA~?"

"ROMAAA~?"

"Lovino Romano Vargas! I have tomatoes!"

"FUCKING WHERE?"

"Come here!"

"But there are no tomatoes here...?"

"I know~!"


	14. Chapter 14

Romano and Germany were drunk. Again.

"Heeeeyyy, potato bastard, here," Romano shoves tomatoes in Germany's face.

"That's not very nice, Romano!" Germany shoves potatoes in Romano's face.

Well this is bad. They seem to have started a potato/tomato throwing war.

"Ahahahaha, take that you bastard!"

"I don't think I will!"

Germany and Romano giggled. It was fucking weird.

"I don't feel like throwing stuff anymore," said Germany.

"Me neither, let's make friendship bracelets!" So they made friendship bracelets. And discussed their OTPs.

"Doitsu-san and Romano-san seem very girlish... again?!"

The end.


	15. Chapter 15

"Kesesesese!"

"Heuheuheu!"

"Kesesesese!"

"Huehuehue!"

"What the fuck"

The Awesome trio were hanging out. They had been kicked out of an Asian Sparkle party. #lol

"Kesesesesese!"

"Huehuehuehue!"

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" Denmark was really pissed off.

"The awesome me and Al are having a laughing contest! Kesesesese!"

"Huehuehue! Don't you have a weird laugh, Matt?"

"Hm," Denmark pondered, "I don't think so."

"Sure ya do! Huehuehu-blaha," America choked on his own spit.

Prussia patted America on his back. "Matt, you have to have a weird laugh, its not natural if you don't, it means... YOU ARE NOT AWESOME," Prussia whisper shouted the last part.

"Kay, let me try. Hehehe! Hehehe! Hehehe!"

"WHAT THE FUCK! THAT IS FUCKING SCARY!" Prussia shrieked.

America choked again. "MATT, THAT HURTS MY EARS, THE FUCK, DUDE!"

"Fuck both of you!" Denmark glared.

"You know you want to~! Kesesesese!" Prussia winked.

"Gil, Matt wants tha D! Huehuehue!"

Denmark got his axe out of... wait, where the fuck did he- wh- THE FUCK.

Prussia and America shut up immediately.

"HEHEHE!"

The end.

* * *

A/N: what the fuck did I do

I made them so gay ._.


	16. Chapter 16

Liechtenstein was reading when suddenly, a wild Germany appeared!

"OH MEIN GOTT! SO FUCKING CUTE~!"

Liechtenstein yelped as Germany hugged her. Switzerland ran into the room and aimed his gun at Germany.

"LET GO OF HER OR I'LL SHOOT!"

Germany ran off in tears because he wasn't able to fangirl as much as he wanted to.

What a shame.

The end.

* * *

A/N: oh my god I just realized Germany is acting like a pedo

I SWEAR HE'S JUST FANGIRLING ⊙﹏⊙

PLS DON'T HURT ME


	17. Chapter 17

Russia was sad. He wanted to hang out with China but China (didn't want to) was busy. And Russia didn't want to hang out with anybody else. So, you know what he did? He went on omegle. And you know what he did on omegle? He was on the brink of divorce.

**Question to Discuss:  
Act like a married couple who are on the brink of divorce.**

**You: waifu become one with me  
Stranger: NO HUSBANDO STOP  
You: waifu get me some vodka  
Stranger: NO THAT IS TOO RUSSIAN  
You: but waifu i am russian  
Stranger: why didnt you tell me?!  
You: i did tell you stop joking and get me vodka  
Stranger: I HATE IT WHEN YOU DRINK  
You: waifu i drink because you never become one with me  
Stranger: I DONT WANT TO BE ONE WITH YOU SHUT UP AND I WONT GET YOU VODKA  
You: waifu you are so mean  
Stranger: dont call me waifu!  
You: but thats your name waifu  
Stranger: shut up you stupid russian  
You: i knew i shouldn't have married you  
Stranger: /sobs  
You: im sorry waifu  
Stranger: NO I HATE YOU**

**Stranger has disconnected.**

Russia smiled. He was a pretty good husband.

The end.

* * *

A/N: sorry anon, that was crap but I had no idea what to do XD If you guys have a request, say what character you want and what kind of plot you want :D


	18. Chapter 18

"Today someone asked me what was so great about Switzerland. I said '_well the flag is a big plus_'," Switzerland said.

"Country puns are really funny, but this _Israeli_ lame," England grinned.

"I saw the chance so _Iran_ with it! I'm up to tell you more, if_ Europe_ to it," Switzerland tried not to laugh.

"Yeah, but _Syria-sly_?" Italy joined the conversation.

"It _Tokyo_ long enough," said Japan.

"Oui, I agree. Kenya help me for a sec?" France said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Hai, Kuwait a sec?"

"Da, I'm not Russian," Russia was actually dying inside.

"I'm pretty Hungary right now, you guys got any Turkey?" Hungary giggled.

"Not too much Greece though," said Greece, who was half asleep.

"Are you guys China be funny?" America butted in.

Everyone glared at America.

Wow, good going America. -_-

"You still owe me money, aru!"

"Let's make bacon pancakes, eh?"

But nobody heard him.

Aw. How sad.

The end.

* * *

A/N: here ya go Fruitstogether :D I am so proud of myself at the bacon pancakes thing XD

and more requests please because y'know, more chapters :D


	19. Chapter 19

i hate so dELETE ok


	20. Chapter 20

i hate so dELETE ok


	21. Chapter 21

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

"Italia-kun!"

"Japan!"

What the fuck are they doing? You may ask yourself. Here, I'll tell you: they were drunk.

Japan jumped into Italy's arms and glomped him while Italy was just making that stupid grin face he always has.

"Italia-kuun~! You are so cute~!" Japan giggled.

"No! You are cuter!"

"Noo~! You are so cute I could hug you all day!"

"Ve~! Well, you are so cute, I could kiss you all day!"

"Ney, Italia-kun, you are so cute, I could fuck you all day!"

Italy gasped. "Japan! Don't swear! After all, you are younger than me!"

"I wouldn't actually fuck you Italia-kun, and anyway I am older than you!"

Italy clamped his hand on Japan's mouth. "Ve, Japan stop swearing!"

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Japan shouted but it came out as 'mnf mnf mnf'.

"JAPAN!" shrieked Italy. Japan licked Italy's hand.

"Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew, fuck you Japan, you're such a...JAPAIN in the ass," Italy wiped his hand on Japan.

"That was a very bad pun, Italia-kun," Japan said, sassily.

"I DON'T CARE! I AM ITALY!"

"Nee, Italia-kun, did you happen to hear about the chef that died?"

"Ve~ I heard he _pasta_ away!"

"Hai, we _cannoli_ do so much," Japan was trying not to giggle.

"Sí, his legacy will become a _pizza_ history."

"Here today, gone _tomato_," Japan was laughing so hard inside. Too hard. That is not safe.

"Ve, how sad that he ran out of _thyme_," Italy was loosing it now.

"Sending _olive_ my prayers to the family," Japan's face was so red at that moment.

"His wife is really upset, _cheese_ still not over it," Italy's lip was going to bleed if he didn't stop biting it to stop laughing.

"You never _sausage_ a tragic thing!" they said together. And they lost it and laughed for ages.

Japan's phone buzzed and Japan checked it. And giggled. I swear, giggling nations is so fucking scary.

"Ve, Japan, are you talking to... him?" Italy let out a snort because of all the cheesy stuff Japan was sent.

"Maybe~"

Germany walked in.

Were Italy and Japan fucking giggling?!

Well Italy he could understand, but Japan?!

Germany walked back out.

The end.

* * *

A/N: I listened to this 10 minute challenge where Japan says 'Italian-kun' (it sounded so sexual omfg) and that was my inspiration for this... don't ask

I wasn't supposed to add the Japan X secret person but I couldn't resist

huehuehuehue


	22. Chapter 22

"I wish my pony could fly," said a very sad England.

The pony flew into the sky.

"Oh!"

The pony flew into Switzerland (the land mass)

_It's a magical pony flyin' through the sky, on a magical journey for you and I!_

"Shoot it down," Switzerland (the person) told Liechtenstein.

"But big brother! He's so cute!" whispered Liechtenstein. Well actually that's her normal voice but to you and me, it sounds like a whisper.

Switzerland sighed. "Fine, but then we'll have to buy another one so this one doesn't get lonely."

The end.

* * *

A/N: asdf movie is just so awesome


	23. Chapter 23

China walked into his house. LIKE A BOSS.

He made tea. LIKE A BOSS.

He drank tea. LIKE A BOSS.

He did his hair. LIKE A BOSS.

CHINA IS MUCH BOSS.

SUCH BOSS.

VERY BOSS.

But he looks so pretty when wearing flower crowns.

Russia agrees.

The end.


	24. Chapter 24

On a roof, England talking with a baby unicorn. He had been busy with the baby unicorn for hours and now wanted nothing more than to argue with France.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden, France appeared at the door, grinning.

"Put down the baby unicorn," France said, jumping up and down. "Unless you want me to murder it."

England put down the baby unicorn. He had never seen France so evil before and it made him worried.

France picked up the baby unicorn, then withdrew a piece of cake from his pocket. "I am so angry," France said with a glint in his eyes. "An unicorn bit my ear this morning, and everything became stupid and fucked up. Now with this baby unicorn and this cake I can rule the world!"

England looked at France as if he was insane. This wasn't France

"Fight it!" England shouted. "The unicorn just wants the baby unicorn for his own evil reasons! He doesn't hate you, not the way I do!"

England could see France trembling. England hugged France. He was stupid, so stupid, but he knew only his hate for France would break the unicorn's spell.

Sure enough, France put the baby unicorn on the ground. "Oh, England," he squeaked. "I'm so sorry, can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course, you frog," England smiled fondly.

The unicorn appeared and took the baby unicorn and flew off in tears.

The end.

* * *

A/N: what the fuck

we all know England loves France


	25. Chapter 25

"We should make pancakes."

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poop heads."

"No, it isn't!"

"You still don't get any of my references!"

"THEN STOP MAKING FUCKING REFERENCES, EH?!"

"I love cavorting!"

"EH?!"

"Your wife is going to be beautiful!"

"Wha-bu-huh?!"

Poor Canada is so confused. Serves him right for making America sing that awful donut song.

"Would you like to eat my candy paws?"

"I DON'T WATCH FUCKING CARTOONS!"

"MATTHIEU! NO CURSING!"

"Sorry Papa."

"Well, hornswaggle my haversack!"

"STOP IT AL, THIS IS GETTING FUCKING ANNOYING!"

Canada attempted to punch America.

"Haha, you fight like a girl! Who is also a baby!"

Canada was getting so annoyed.

"GAH! FUCK THIS SHIT! I AM LEAVING!"

"LANGUAGE!"

"I AM SORRY PAPA!"

The end.

* * *

A/N: man I love making references

bonus points if you guess where they are from


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: omg school started for me today D: so I guess updates will be slower (saddddd)

* * *

Austria was at the supermarket and he saw Switzerland.

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Oh, you know, HUNTING FOR ELEPHANTS."

Oh.

Switzerland is one sarcastic bitch.

The end.


	27. Chapter 27

America and Japan were watching anime and drinking milkshakes. From McDonalds, obviously. Where else can you find such fine cuisine?

"Hey, dude, what's Boku no Pico?"

Japan did a spit take. "Uhhmm... why are you asking?"

"Oh, because someone told me to watch it," replied America.

"And who is this person who told you to watch it...?" Japan raised an eyebrow, already knowing who.

"Mattie told me!"

"Of course, and would you like to watch it?" Japan asked.

"Yeah, sure!"

Japan gave America his laptop and walked out of the door. "I'll be back... later..."

America gave Japan a thumbs up and put on Boku no Pico.

~Later~

America wanted to rip his eyeballs out and cleanse them as much as he could. "ARGH THAT WAS SO... BLARGH" America shouted.

Japan came back into the room. He was...smiling. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME! THAT HURT MY BRAIN! I WANT TO FLUSH MY EYEBALLS!"

"Payback," Japan said nonchalantly.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!"

"You ate all the pocky so naturally I had to get you back." Japan put on his sunglasses and walked away like a fucking boss.

"FUCK YOU, JAPAN"

Japan kept walking. Like a fucking boss.

(⌐■_■)

The end.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry

I like boss!Japan wayy too much


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: omg school sucks so bad D:

and

yes I just ripped this off from a picture I saw ._.

* * *

England suspiciously looked around before walking into an alley. There stood Seychelles. England tapped her shoulder.

"Oh, he-" Seychelles was cut off by England.

"Have you got the yaois?" England muttered to Seychelles.

"..."


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: my friend found my story and she fucking reviewed every single chapter ._.

who the fuck does that

* * *

Japan, America and England were in the park. They were playing hide and seek and America was counting.

"One...two...three..."

Japan used his magical ninja skills to turn himself invisible and England called his unicor- wait, sorry I mean _alicorn*_ and they both flew up into the sky. Like beautiful fairy princesses.

"READY OR NOT! HERE I FUCKING COME!" America yelled. He got very disapproving looks from all the mothers in the park. "Sorry!" America said sheepishly.

America look everywhere in the park. But he couldn't find England and Japan. Aw. How sad.

Meanwhile, England was flying on his unico- ALICORN and was having so much fun! Well, until his alicorn stopped. "Why did you stop?" whined England. The alicorn rolled his eyes and disappeared. "Wait! Where did you go?!"

That's when England realized he was way up in the sky. Well, this isn't going to end well. WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK (!) England screamed as he fell. He landed in a bush. And started sobbing. What a cry baby.

Japan was getting bored so he stole a bunch of paper and a pen from an unsuspecting child and drew such fabulous yaois. He was still invisible so people started to freak out when they saw the pen moving by itself. "WHAT THE FUCK IT'S A FLOATING PEN DRAWING CREEPY STUFF," shouted a random guy.

"It is called yaoi, please do not call yaoi 'creepy' or I will cut you," said Japan.

America was sulking around and heard Japan's voice. "JAPAN! DUDE WHERE ARE YOUUUU!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YAOI?!" screamed the random guy who was literally wetting himself because he didn't know where Japan's voice was coming from.

"Oh! I know what it is!" exclaimed America. "It's gay porn!" The random guy ran away because he was so creeped out and he desperately needed to change his pants.

"Amerika-san, please do not refer it as 'gay porn'. I would prefer if you called it yaoi."

England finally stopped crying and came out of the bush. "Oh, bloody hell! I give up!"

"AHAHAHA I WIN!" America grinned.

"Well, technically you haven't found me Amerika-san," Japan said in a smug voice.

"Oh yeah... fuck. Alright fine, you... win," said America sadly.

Japan used his awesome ninja magic to make himself visible again and had a smirk on his face.

England pouted and muttered a load of random words and suddenly the stray trio were wearing adorable dresses.

"The joke is on you Igirisu-san because I look so fabu." The uni- ALICORN came back and suddenly Japan and the alicorn flew away looking so beautiful. It made everyone cry, that was how beautiful it was.

I bet all of you wish you were as fabulous and beautiful as Japan but you aren't.

HAHA

The end.

* * *

*an alicorn is a unicorn that can fly. yeah I realize this is from mlp but tbh I don't give a fuck


	30. Chapter 30

America was eating those really nice donuts again. He made sure not to ask Canada if he wanted any,

"Hey, Al, guess what?" Canada said with a smile on his face.

"What"

"PANCAKES ARE BETTER THAN DONUTS!"

America's eyes filled with tears. And then he remembered. He was _beautiful_. America did such a beautiful hair flip.

"Well, you know what? I _DONUT_ CARE!"

"Al... you give me the _crepes_."

"I'm getting tired of this _hole_ thing. Please _donut_ break my heart anymore," America wiped away fake tears.

"..."

Canada was tired of America's shit. So he left.

The end.


	31. Chapter 31

**_Doitsu._**

The reason we _live_, the reason we **breathe**.

The _un-explainable_ beauty of **_Doitsu_**, the _beauty_ we **crave** to have.

His _kindness_, the kindness that **everyone** needs in their life.

Without _**Doitsu**_, we _simply_ **cannot** go on.

His _perfect_ blond hair, **shining** in the sunlight.

His **striking** blue eyes, you could stare at them _all day_.

There are no words to describe _**Doitsu**_, simply because _**Doitsu**_ is too perfect.

_My children,_ remember: Shine bright like a Doit- **MY ANACONDA DON'T**


	32. Chapter 32

England was sipping his tea, reading Harry Potter. He was still upset that he didn't get his Hogwarts letter yet. France sneakily walked into the room and whispered into England's ear.

**"GAY PORN!"**

England jumped out of his seat. His tea spilled everywhere, even on his book. _His precious book._

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU BLOODY FROG!"

France giggled and ran away.

The end.


	33. Chapter 33

Japan was on tumblr, minding his own business, when suddenly, he gained a new follower called 'hello-panda-aru'. This 'hello-panda-aru' person seemed really suspicious. And then this happened:

**hello-panada-aru asked you:**

**AY NIHON HOW DOES THIS WORK ARU CAN YOU HEAR ME**

Japan is so done right now.

The end.


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: this chapter is dedicated to someone who is not nice anymore. may she lead a happy life and fuck herself.

"Oh maple! I'm so angry!" Canada whispered furiously.

"Dude! Just let it all out! No one will judge!" America grinned.

"Alright..." Canada hesitated. "FUCK THIS SHIT, I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW, WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID AND MEAN! FUCK THEM! FUCK HOCKE- WAIT SORRY I LOVE HOCKEY STICKS! I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE SO FUCKING MUCH WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST NOT JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE! ARRRGH! THEY CAN FUCK THEMSELVES WITH RAKES!11!eleven!111onety one!11!"

America fell over. "I have witnessed the final form." America rocked himself back and forth in a corner, tears streaming down his face. "So scary...!"

The end


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: inspired by some episode of Zack and Cody

* * *

France and England were playing dress up. Don't ask. France looked like Napoleon and England was wearing a wizard outfit and was reading a Harry Potter book. France was filing his nails.

"Why are you filing your nails, frog?"

"I am wolverine," France replied casually.

"What the bloody hell."

"Personally, the Harry Potter ending disappointed me," France commented.

"And would you explain why?"

"Well, I was rooting for Dramione," France was still filing his nails.

"But Draco and Hermione hate each other!"

"Don't we hate each other?"

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" England yelled.

"You very well know what that means, mon cher," France smirked.

"NO, I DON'T!" snapped England.

"Dramione for life," France murmured under his breath.

"Shut up, Napoleon!"

"I AM WOLVERINE!"

The end.


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: probably the best request I've gotten :D

* * *

Japan was walking around the mansion (seriously a bad idea). He was so bored because being scared all the time is boring, especially if you are so badass like Japan. Japan was thinking deeply... probably about hentai or yaoi or something. Japan was so deep in thought that he almost didn't notice... the thing. Almost.

Japan was so tired of Steve's shit. Killing all his friends isn't very nice at all. So Japan just glared at Steve.

Steve was immediately killed because he was so depressed that senpai was angry at him, meanwhile Japan put on his badass sunglasses.

Japan walked away like a fucking boss while an explosion happened in the background.

(⌐■_■)

The end


	37. Chapter 37

Austria looked around suspiciously and locked himself into a room. His eyes fell upon the most beautiful thing ever. You'd think it was a picture of Hungary but it was actually...

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THE PIANO! :D

You gasp before falling over! A piano?! What?!

Unfortunately, this is the sad truth.

That Austria was going to jerk off to a piano.

Wow.

He's _really_ desperate.

The end.


	38. Chapter 38

The Nordics were hanging out, not willingly, of course. Denmark kidnapped had the others. *creepy music*

"Hey, there's nothing creepy about kidnapping your own friends!" Denmark glared at me. "Um, thanks for breaking the fourth wall, dumbass," I reply sassily.

Denmark folded his arms and ignored me. Hmph, whatever.

"Guys! There are 87 days till Christmas!" Finland exclaimed.

Everyone froze. Finland is going to bring up Christmas... again.

"Um... I need to go... to the bathroom," Iceland muttered before fleeing out of the room. That was a lie. Obviously Iceland wasn't going to the bathroom! He went before, ahahah. He was probably going to stalk Hong Kong's tumblr, because that's what you do when you like someone! ...Right?!

"Christmas?!" said Finland.

"Um... I need to go to a hair dressing appointment... um bye," Norway jumped out of a window.

"CHRISTMAS?!"

Denmark sighed. He just wanted to spend some time with the others but Finland just had to bring up Christmas. So he jumped out of the window and went wherever Norway went.

Sweden shrugged and dragged Finland away to make really early Christmas cookies.

The end


	39. Chapter 39

Sealand and Wy were randomly walking around eating ice cream.

"Ice cream is the best!" Sealand exclaimed. Wy sighed and took his ice cream before throwing it on the ground. Sealand gasped.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!"

Wy didn't reply. Sealand fell to the ground, his eyes glistening with tears. He picked up the ice cream and clutched it tightly. Well, as tightly as he could anyway. "WHY! THE ICE CREAM DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DO Y-YOU... MEANIE MURDERER!"

"S-Sealand..." said the ice cream. Sealand gasped. "Sealand... r-revenge..." The ice cream died and Sealand cried.

The end

* * *

A/N: *whispers* did Wy seriously get jealous because of an ice cream?


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: this chapter is probably some kind of AU where Germany is a teenager. yay.

* * *

Teenage Germany came out of his room looking... different. His hair had black streaks and he was wearing eyeliner which was totally for boys. Totally.

"WEST!"

"What is it, bruder?" Germany sighed.

"WHATCHA WANT FOR DINNER?!"

Germany sighed. "Whatever."

"WURST AND POTATOES IT IS!"

"Wurst and potatoes are too mainstream."

"WHAT"

Germany sighed yet again.

"WEST COME HERE!"

Germany huffed in annoyance.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WEARING?!"

"It's not a phase, bruder. It's who I really am."

"WHAT"

Germany rolled his eyes. "Bruder, you are so embarrassing." Germany went back to his room and watched hardcore shows like "My Little Pony" and wrote smutty fanfictions about One Direction.

The end


	41. Chapter 41

Italy giggled madly as he chased Germany all around his house. Germany was terrified as fuck.

"Heheehh! I fucking love pasta!" Italy shouted. "Heheheheeh will I turn into Russia if I drink vodkaaa?!"

Germany was seriously creeped out.

"OMG! Ahahaahaahahaahaa will I turn Into Germanyyyyy if I have beeeer?!" Italy kept running after Germany. Germany was literally pissing his pants, I'm not kidding.

"CATS! I FUCKING LOVE CATS! SO FUCKING CUTE! AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

That's when Germany remembered. Mother Ukraine's wise words: JUST SHOW THEM YOUR BOOBS. Germany took off his shirt in slow motion while the background changed into sparkles. Italy froze and gasped.

"LORD DOITSU HAS NOTICE MEEEEEE~!" Italy whispered frantically.

Germany didn't know what the fuck Italy was talking about. He shrugged and walked away to get some potatoes or whatever Germans eat. Do Germans even eat? Or are they just fueled by their hardcore-ness?

*whispers* We may never know.

The end.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: Neopets is probably the worst thing ever. don't make one. seriously, I am warning you

* * *

America was derping around the internet when he saw it.

It.

America screamed. It had come to haunt him! America sobbed and curled up into a ball. It was time.

You may be asking, what the fuck am I talking about? Well... NEOPETS. America was sure his neopets had all died (because America never fed them) and now they wanted revenge.

America went on Neopets and logged into his account. And he pissed himself. What the fuck. They were all ghosts. America screamed and frantically dialled Canada's number.

"MATTIE MATTIE THEY'RE GONNE KILL MEE!"

"No, Alfred, STOP." Canada hung up and America screamed again. And then he remembered. His neopets weren't dead! They were just painted ghost colour! Or were they...? America laughed weakly yet maniacally at the same time and ran all the way to Canada's house and stole all his ice cream.

The end.


	43. Chapter 43

China was rearranging all his Hello Kitties. Damn, he had a LOT of Hello Kitties. He put a tiny plushie on the top. Perfect. That's when France jumped out of the perfect pile of Hello Kitties.

**"GAY PORN!" **

China screamed girlishly, like a man. "AIYAH! I WILL STICK MY CHOPSTICKS UP YOUR NOSE! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY HELLO KITTY SUMMONING RITUAL I WILL SACRIFICE YOUR BEAUTIFUL HAIR TO THE LEADER OF FABULOUS PANDAS!" China then proceeded to throw rice he had found in his pockets at France.

The rice was completely unnecessary.

France just giggled madly and ran away.

The end.


	44. Chapter 44

It was karaoke night for the Nordics.

The day everyone dreaded.

"I wanna go first!" Denmark shouted. Everyone else sighed, knowing exactly what will happen next.

Denmark selected his song. "EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!"

Norway decided he was done with Denmark's shit so he used his powers of Norwegia to destroy everything.

Thank Thor. May Denmark never sing that awful song again.

The end


	45. Chapter 45

"England, England, England."

"WHAT. IS. IT. CANADA," England glared.

"Here. I hope you like it, eh." Canada gave England a pair of tweezers.

"FUCK YOU I'LL POO ON YOUR MUM!"

"Is tha-"

"YES NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU TWAT YOU'RE WORSE THAN YOUR BROTHER!"


	46. Chapter 46

A/N: I don't have problems._ I swear._

* * *

Liechtenstein put a hairband on her big brother. Perfect! Switzerland looks so pretty! His eyes were covered in eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara and... glitter. Blush covered his cheeks and his _pouty_ lips were a pale pink colour. "Bruder, where did you put the dress?" Liechtenstein asked sweetly. Switzerland tried not to grumble as he took the beautiful dress out of a closet. "Go put it on, bruder!"

Switzerland did what he was told and put the dress on. Liechtenstein smirked inwardly. "Alright, bruder, I am done now! Lets go downstairs and have that picnic, yes?" Her green eyes sparkled innocently. She took his hand and led him out side. Liechtenstein secretly gave a signal to Hungary who was sitting in a bush. Hungary then gave the signal to Seychelles and Taiwan. They all furiously took pictures of Switzerland. He looked so uke and adorable, perfect for their yaoi blog (cross dressing China was trending!). Liechtenstein giggled. Today was a good day!

The end (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


	47. Chapter 47

"A-G-L-E-T, AGLET DON'T FORGET ITTT! GETS US ALL UP ON OUR FEET, YEAH YEAH YEAAHH!" Germany screamed.

"WEST! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO TO BED OR I WILL TAKE YOUR EYELINER AWAY FROM YOU!"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK BRUDER! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! A-G-L-E-T, AGLE-"

BANG! Germany's singing was cut off by the door. Prussia walked in, breathing heavily, annoyed as fuck. Prussia glared at Germany and took his eyeliner.

"I hope you learned your lesson, West. I will give you your eyeliner back if you apologise for singing at 2 AM in the morning."

Germany sighed.

Why must Prussia be so embarrassing.

The end


	48. Chapter 48

Japan was reading hard core yaoi when suddenly he heard noises outside. Very strange noises so he decided to go outside and investigate.

_"America wants to battle!" _

"China! I choose you!"

"And I chose you, West!"

What the absolute fuck.

"China, use wok!"

_"China used wok and Germany lost half of his HP!"_

"Agh! Germany use beer attack!"

_"Germany used beer attack! He threw a bunch of beer bottles in random directions!"_

"China, block it! And then use chopsticks!"

_"China blocked beer attack and stuck his chopsticks up Germany's nose! It was super effective!"_

Prussia groaned in frustration and Germany was crying. "Bruder, I don't want to do this anymore, I'm going home." Germany walked away.

_"Germany is unable to battle! China is the winner!"_

_"Germany has been defeated! The winner is America, from America!"_

...

Japan was dumbfounded. What the fuck just happened. How dare they disrespect the fine art of Pokemon battling!

The end.


	49. Chapter 49

A/N: so apparently Prussia's going to disappear for real

...

let it sink in

...

no one will judge if you cry, we're all friends here

we'll all cry together

* * *

"Heyy, hey, Germany, hey, Germany, heyy"

Germany glared at Italy. "What?" Germany said, irritated.

"No matter how many times you tell yourself, you aren't straight!" Italy said in a very serious voice.

He then ran away in a fit of giggles.

Germany closed his eyes. Unfortunately, Italy was right. He really wasn't straight. And he couldn't do anything a out it. Germany sighed before doing whatever Germans do. _Being hardcore._

The end.


	50. Chapter 50

"Will anybody judge me if I told them I worship maple syrup?" Canada whispered to nobody in particular. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Canada.

"What the fuck," said just about everyone in the room.

"Guys, I was just kidding!"

But nobody heard him.

The end


	51. Chapter 51

"i'M sO cUTE!" France squeaked.

"Why the fuck are you talking like that?!" England glared at France.

"taLki NG LiEk wHaT?" France said innocently.

"Like that!"

"i hve NO IDea wHAT yoU'rE taLKiNg abOUT!"

England sighed, there was no point in arguing with France. So England shoved a scone in France's mouth and France choked.

The end


	52. Chapter 52

"Heyy! Kiku! Isn't Attack on Titan the new Pokemon or something?"

Japan froze. What?! WHAT?! Japan turned around and gave the person a fabulous senpai glare.

The person never fully recovered after that.

The end


	53. Chapter 53

"What do eggs do for fun?" Italy giggled.

Romano sighed. "I don't fucking care."

"Karay'YOLKI'!"

"Italy, no one likes your dumb jokes."

Italy's eyes filled up with tears. "N-not even Germany?!"

"Germany hates your jokes so much he washes his clothes with all the tears he cries from your jokes."

Italy made a face sort of like this: ⊙︿⊙ and took out a toilet out of his pocket.

"I will kill everyone."

The end


	54. Chapter 54

A/N: Hii, sorry I haven't been updating, I've been so busy with school and stuff so I hope you guys understand. To make it up to you, here's four stories, that's right, FOUR :D

* * *

Scotland was drunk.

"Ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha, aye, England you're so dumb!" Scotland giggled.

"You bloody wanker! How dare you accuse me of being an nonintellectual being! You can't even rap!" England countered back. Although, I'm not really sure why he mentioned rapping because it didn't really have anything to do with dumb-ness.

"AYE?!" Scotland put on his badass sunglasses (but keep in mind that they weren't as cool as Japan's ones because Japan is the most badass) and walked up to England with SWAG. He started rapping but it honestly sounded like gibberish. Scotland gave England the middle finger and walked away with swag.

The end.

* * *

Little Russia giggled. He told Ukraine to bake him a cake for all his friends.

BUT LITTLE RUSSIA LIED.

HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

LITTLE RUSSIA ATE THE CAKE.

ALL.

BY.

HIMSLEF.

HOW SELFISH.

The end

* * *

"China-san."  
"China-san."  
"China-san."

"WHAT IS IT ARU"

"Are you really a male?"

"YOU fuCKING PIecE OF ShIT I SHOuLD havE FUCKING LEFT YOU IN THE BAMBOO WHERE I FOUND YOU YOU LITTLE-" Japan knocked China out cold and dragged him all the way to England's house.

"Igirisu-san, I have him," Japan whispered.

"Lovely."

England and Japan drew a triangle thing on the ground and muttered the magic words like "Expelliarmus" and "Dumbledora the Explorer". And China turned into a girl. England and Japan giggled and dragged girl China back. China is going to be very surprised in the morning.

The end.

* * *

Germany was crying. Because in his favourite fanfiction, HARRY GOT KILLED! AND LOUIS WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIM!  
"Hey West, why are you grossly sobbing everywhere?" Prussia asked. He couldn't care less about Germany's feelings but Germany was staining the new carpet. Tears are hard to clean out, you know.

"I can't even!" Germany cried. Prussia sighed and shoved Germany outside so the carpet stain wouldn't get worse.

The end.


	55. Chapter 55

Little Russia skipped merrily through the magical forest, blissfully unaware of the fact that all the cute little woodland creatures were running away from him. All except one. A fluffy little squirrel that had literally no idea what was going on.

"Privet, little squirrel! Become one with mother Russia, daaa?" Little Russia beamed.

The squirrel looked up at the nation towering over him and gave Russia a pointed look. And he middle finger. Little Russia ignored the rude gesture and picked up the squirrel. "So cute!" Russia whispered.

"Titans, go!" yelled the squirrel. Smoke filled the air and the squirrel was replaced with a boy. Called Robin.

"Eeeep!" Russia screamed frantically. "Who are you!?"

"I am Robin, and I AM HERE TO KILL YOU!"

Little Russia started crying. "BUT I DON'T WANNA DIEEEEEEE!"

"Too bad sucker-" Russia decided he had enough of this strange boy's behavior. So, Russia walked away.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?!" Robin screeched.

Russia threw a stick at Robin and disappeared into the forest.

The end


	56. Chapter 56

A/N: _I am so sorry for this._

* * *

"WEST!" Prussia screamed. Prussia huffed and went up to Germany's room and to his surprise, Germany wasn't there.

.

..

...

..

.

Meanwhile, Germany climbed nearly 90 degrees and licked salt deposits of a mountainside.

_**He craves that mineral.**_


	57. Chapter 57

Japan saw a really nice looking park with loads of flowers.

"Aesthetic," he murmured before checking off something in a tiny notebook.

Japan picked some flowers and turned them into beautiful flower crowns. He put one on and damn, Japan looked beautiful.

"Aesthetic," Japan whispered and ticked off another things in his notebook.

Japan walked around the park. Everyone looked at the beautiful nation and fainted because they couldn't comprehend such a gorgeous sight.

Japan smiled. "Aesthetic."


	58. Chapter 58

A/N: Request for everybody being high apart from Netherlands.

* * *

Netherlands walked into the room where the world meeting was being held, noticing it was even more disorderly that usual. Before he could even get to his seat, France went up to him. "Science is wrong," whispered France before somehow floating(?) away. Netherlands shook his head and sat down in his seat.

"NEDDY!" America hollered.

"Yes, America?"

America zoned out and stared at Netherland's hair.

"Erm... America?"

"Huh?... Just so you know, your hair is better than Denmark's. Be proud," said America.

"Well thanks, but I already know my hair is the best-"

America walked away, seeming to not hear Netherlands. He sighed, not knowing what the fuck was going on.

"Hello Netherlands."

Netherlands looked up to see a smiling England. Well, that's not scary at all.

"Um.. hi," said Netherlands.

England smiled brighter. "What if eyebrows were curly?"

"E-excuse me?!"

"What language do babies think with?"

"..."

"LUCKY CHARMS."

"England-"

**"DREAMS ARE REAL AND LIFE IS A LIE!"**

Netherlands shook violently and screamed in horror. He ran out the door and probably sobbed in some unknown place.

So, kids, this is exactly why you shouldn't do drugs. But you can if you want extremely deep thoughts that question the point of your existence and make yourself spiral into the dark depths of insanity.

The end.


	59. Chapter 59

A/N: Hi guys, here's a Christmas chapter! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ I hope you have a great Christmas and if you don't celebrate it then have a great day and stay safe! uwu

* * *

Finland was a mess. It was Christmas eve and everything was just perfect! But then. Finland realized the Christmas tree decorations weren't symmetrical.

"Iceland, don't you dare bring up your tacky anime references!" Norway hissed.  
Iceland rolled his eyes and went to do stereotypical teenager-y things like stalking his crush's tumblr and cry.

"Sweden, you're the only one who can calm Finland down," said Norway.

"Yeah, after all, he is your wife, ahahahha!"

"Nobody asked for your opinion, Denmark," Norway glared at Denmark, who just laughed.

Sweden edged away slowly over to Finland because he seriously didn't want to deal with Norway and Denmark right now.

"Fin, ya alri-"

"NO, THE TREE-"

Sweden fixed the decoration and the tree was symmetrical again. Finland brightened up immediately. "Yay! Thanks Su-san!"

Sweden smiled slightly. His wife was just too cute.

"Why aRE YOU SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT-"  
"STOP BEING SUCH A KILL JOY!  
"HOW AM I BEING-"

Sweden's smile fell and slapped both Norway and Denmark.

All in all, it was a great Christmas.

The end


	60. Chapter 60

A/N: Someone gave me a headcanon and this is the result...

* * *

"JAPAN! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!" said England, sounding quite irritated.

"What do you mean, Igirisu-san?"

"I mean to say, what the fuck is a Pokemon... is it like a "meme"... whatever that is.."

Japan gasped. "..."

"All my people hAVE STARTED TALKING ABOUT IT AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND?!"

Japan sighed. "Igirisu-san... you are disgusting."

Japan walked away like a boss with his badass sunglasses while an explosion happened in the background.

The end


	61. Chapter 61

A/N: Like I have said many times, I'm so sorry about this. The yaoi is strong in this one and I just... I think I need some sleep.

* * *

One day, Japan forgot to turn off his weaboo side. He was watching this anime about kawaii desu neko girls. It was getting really exciting because the stereotypical hot guy fell in love with his sugoi kidnapper. Oh, it was just so kawaii.

Japan giggled and went to Germany's house and walked in without anyone knowing. "Ohayo, Prussia-ku~n!" Japan cried, his usually soulless eyes full of sparkles.

"...Hey, Japan.. What the fuck happened to your eyes?!"

Japan glared at Prussia. "I am not Japan to anyone. I am your senpai!"

"Japan!" Yelled a voice which was most likely Italy's.

"I am not Japan! It's SENPAI!"

Italy either didn't hear him or ignored what he said. "Japaannn, when did you get here?!"

"A few minutes ago.. I'm guessing YOU DIDN'T HERE ME COME IN BECAUSE OF YOUR SUGOI YAOI ACTIVITES WITH DOITSU-KUN!"

Prussia burst out laughing. "Ahah.. Japan, did you forget to turn off your weaboo again?"

Japan's eyes immediately filled up with tears. "I-I was watching kawaii neko anime and then the yaoi and I couldn't help myself.. bUT ITALIA-KUN GO BACK TO YOUR SUGOI ACTIVITIES!"

Italy obviously had no choice. Because Japan would probably murder him with his sparkles.

"P-Prussia-kun.. I...I ship them soo much!" Japan sobbed.

Prussia sighed. Japan's weaboo side was pretty emotional. As well as violent and dangerous as fuck. Well, so was normal Japan but weaboo Japan was different.

"Okay.. How do I change you back?" Prussia asked.

"Hmmm.. is kawaii desu the answer?"

"No. Japa- I mean senpai," Prussia sweat dropped.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN KAWAII DESU ISN'T THE ANSWER." The look of complete and utter heartbreak was on Japan's face and Prussia felt terrible but suddenly, he had an idea.

He freaking slapped the LAND OF THE RISING SUN.

Well, looks like Japan's going to need those extra sparkles.

The end.

* * *

Extra note: The "anime" Japan was watching actually exists and my poor eyes bled while watching it. It's probably worse than Boku No Pico and the goat licking salt meme put together.

And I know it's the third already but Happy new year. My new years resolution is to make it the gayest year yet (◕‿◕✿)


	62. Chapter 62

A/N: Ummm.. I'm not entirely responsible for this.. I saw a picture and that sort of inspired me- is inspire even the right word-

* * *

China was randomly outside, looking at the clouds until he saw one that looked really inappropriate.

"AIYAH ITS A PENIS SHAPED CLOUD OH FUCK THAT'S SO DISHONOURABLE WHY DON'T YOU CLOUDS GO TO HELL NAUGHTY CLOUDS I DON'T LIKE PENISES IN THE SKY GET THE FUCK OUT EW THAT'S DISGUSTING UGH CLOUD WHY MUST YOU DISHONOUR THE SKY YOU LITTLE SHIT I WILL GET JAPAN TO STARE INTO YOUR SOUL I BET YOU'LL FEEL SO INTIMIDATED AND YOU SHOULD BECAUSE JAPAN'S STARE IS FUCKING DANGEROUS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

Taiwan went outside to see who was making all the noise. "PENIS CLOUDS!"

Oh, its just China shouting at a cloud again.

Taiwan smiled a bit too widely.

Just a normal day.

The end


	63. Chapter 63

A/N: I have a question that has nothing to do with this chapter. Has anyone ever just looked at their music and realised they are literally a piece of emo shit? If so, I am so proud.

* * *

England, France and America were having a family dinner. Oh yeah, Canadia too...

"Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys."

England sighed. "Can't you be quiet for at least a minute?"

"Sorry mom!"

"What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?!"

America laughed nervously. "Hehe.. Does mother dearest sound better?"

England turned to America and gave him the glare of death.

"Ahahaha, don't be so hard on him, cher, America is just-"

"StOP DEFENDING HIM!"

"Erm.. Can I just say something?" Canada said/whispered.

But alas, no one heard him. Instead, everyone thought it was a ghost and screamed. And ran away.

Canada sighed. "Oh well.. At least I still have you, Kumajika- KUMA?! WHERE ARE YOU?!'

Kumajiro was sick of Canada forgetting his name (although that is quite hypocritical) so Kumajiro ran away too.

So, Canada was left there. All alone. With his maple syrup.

We all know where this is going.

The end.


	64. Chapter 64

Sweden decided to tell Sealand a bedtime story. Instead 'f t'lk'ng l'k' th's, Sweden used his story telling voice so both Sealand and reader can understand.

"Once upon a time, there was a little boy called Iceland.

Just kidding.

He wasn't a child anymore.

HE'S A MAN.

Iceland decided to prove his manliness to his older non-brother. Because said non-brother was a dick.

But the thing is, the only way his manliness can be proved is by pickin' up some chicks.

And we all know Iceland is 100% homo.

This is not going to work.

So Iceland used Hong Kong.

Because Hong Kong is also 100% homo, if not 1341242%. Also on the plus side, Hong Kong looked like a girl. But no one dared say that out loud.

So in the end, Iceland somewhat proved his manliness.

Norway wasn't impressed.

The end."

Sealand screamed in horror.

"''m gl'd y' l'k'd 't, ''ll t'll y' 'nth'r 'ne t'm'rr'w, 'kay?"

Sealand started to hyperventilate and jumped out his window, away from Sweden's bedtime stories.

The end.


	65. Chapter 65

A/N: Inspired by a tumblr text post.

* * *

Japan hadn't been seen for over five weeks. Why? No one knew. Since many other nations couldn't be bothered to check up on the poor soul, Germany and Italy went over to Japan's house to see if he was alright.

"Ve~ Japannnn, open up!"  
"JAPAN."

There was no response so Germany used his hard core German power to break the door. Maniacal laughter could be heard from Japan's room.

"Germany!" shrieked Italy, "What happened to Japan?!"

"I don't know, Italy," Germany said solemnly, "I don't know."

Germany opened the door. Japan was giggling and staring at a computer screen.

"Japan!"

Japan looked up. "Oh, hello Doitu-san, Italia-kun. What are you two doing here?"

"What are we- JAPAN HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN HERE?!"

Japan pondered for a moment. "Hm.. A couple of hours..?"

"Five weeks!"

"Oh." Japan looked back to his computer screen and his eyes sparkled. Oh no.

"Japan?" Italy said worriedly, "..What were you doing in here this whole time?"

"I was just- I can explain why I am photoshopping straight men-"

"WHAT?!"

"I'M BISEXUALIZING THEM," Japan giggled.

Germany sighed. Sometimes he wondered how it all came to be like this.

The end.


	66. Chapter 66

Hungary was worried. She had invited Germany, Prussia, Switzerland and Liechtenstein over to have lunch but after lunch they disappeared. And Austria wasn't to be seen anywhere either. Hungary wondered if any sugoi yaoi was going on and Liechtenstein was taking pictures for her- No! She shouldn't think of such impure thoughts! Besides, she wasn't allowed to nosebleed anymore because then she would need many tissues and the more tissues she used, the more money Austria needed to spend. And it was pretty messy too.

Hungary checked almost every room until she heard chattering at one.

"Mr. Germany? Would you like some too?"

"Uhmm.. of course."

"Mr. Austria?"

"Actually, I don't re- oof! Don't hit me, you bastard!"

"ACCEPT IT OR I'LL SHOOT."

"STOP THREATENING M-"

"AWW THIS IS SO CUTE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ALL BONDING! OH MY GOD I NEED TO TELL EVERYONE, THIS IS JUST ADORABLE! AHHHHH!" gushed Hungary as she slammed the door open with a manly kick. Our favourite Germanic boys squeaked in surprise. Switzerland seemed fairly okay with it, Austria ducked under the table and Germany...

Germany melted into a puddle of shame and embarrassment.

"OH MY GOD! WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE DRESSES?! THEY ARE SO CUTE, OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"We were having a tea party!" Liechtenstein chimed. "I was going to ask you to join too but Mr. Prussia told me-"

"Ehhe, you don't have to tell her everything-"

Hungary smiled and took out her frying pan.

"That's okay, Lilli, I'll take great care of Mr. Prussia. I'll make sure he invites me next time!"

The end.


	67. Chapter 67

By day, he is known as Germany.

But.

By night... he is Lord Doitsu.

The supreme leader of all things homo.

"Bow down to you lord and saviour," Lord Doitsu yelled. A load of dogs ran around the corner and attacked the anti-Doitsuist.

Lord Doitsu smiled. Punishing anti-Doitsuists just warmed his non-existent soul.

The end.


	68. Chapter 68

A/N: I MISSED JAPAN'S BIRTHDAY I FEEL SO BAD I DISRESPECTED THE KING OF YAOI HOW COULD I DO THIS-

In other news I didn't miss Spain's birthday so I don't feel quite as bad

* * *

Spain was in his tomato fields, frolicking around like whatever animal frolics around. When suddenly, Spain stepped on a tomato.

Meanwhile...

Romano gasped, he could feel a burning sensation in his heart.

"WHO THE FUCK STEPPED ON A TOMATO I WILL FUCKING KILL THEM!" Romano wheezed. He attempted to walk out the door but passed out before he could.

And that is the story of Romano's weird connection with tomatoes.

The end.


	69. Chapter 69

A/N: hehe it's chapter 69 on Valentine's day.

* * *

It was not a known fact that Russia, Canada and Iceland were friends. Because if it was, Norway would use his big-brother-powers and banish Russia off the face of the earth and bam, Russia would be just as non-existent as Canada.

Iceland, Russia and Canada decided to meet up on Valentine's day because they didn't want the other nations to embarrass them. They went ice skating. It was like watching a magical anime boy transformation, just much weirder.

"Aisurando!"

"Kanada!"

"Roshia!"

"Aisu Powazu! Unait!"

The weird trio closed their eyes and their bodies were suspended in the air.

And the transformation started.

A blinding light came from the sky and... nothing really happened. They looked exactly the same as before.

"That was really disappointing, eh?"

"Da, I was hoping to turn into something that would destroy Amerika.."

Iceland rolled his eyes like the teenager he was. "I don't really care... Both of you are kinda embarrassing.. I hope Norgay isn't right again-"

The three nations got kicked out of the ice rink. Because dammit, no one wanted to see that life scarring image.

They got hot chocolate and hung around near the ice rink and hissed at random people on the street.

It would have been a great day but considering what happened... I honestly don't know anymore.

The end.


	70. Chapter 70

A/N: Remember teenage Germany? Well here's teenage England.

* * *

England was in his room. The curtains were drawn and the door was open because _someone_ left it open.

"Why don't you people ever close the god damn door," England mumbled and slammed it shut.

"Oi, ah tellt ye nae tae slam it!" A voice exclaimed from downstairs.

England rolled his eyes and turned up his totally-not-emo-but-punk-rock music. And thought extremely deep thoughts.

'Is my eyeliner too thick? Should my hair be darker? Am I depressing enough?'

England shrugged. Oh well.

He decided to call Germany because he was the only one who understood him.

"When are you updating your famfiction?"

"W-what?!"

"The Larry Stylinson one."

"I finished it."

"But Harry is dead."

"I know."

"But that's a cliffhanger, you bastard!"

"He is dead. Accept it."

"Absolutely not! Harry isn't dead! He's just asleep.."

"He's dead! Fuck you!"

"They didn't even screw each other!"

"It was rated-"

"You could've changed it-"

"No."

"Can't you do a sequel? Where Harry is resurrected?"

"Harry is fucking dead. Write it yourself."

"FINE, I WILL, YOU BLOODY WANKER!"

England angrily wrote a fanfiction that was 250K words long.

With added screwing.

The end.


	71. Chapter 71

A/N: Okay I got a request for France x Japan and this is the result.  
(^з^)- ｡･:*:･ﾟ

* * *

One day, Japan was reading something that wasn't very appropriate for younger readers when suddenly a wild France appeared!

"Japan~"

Japan did not look up. "Why are you in my house-"

"I want to ask you a question."

Sigh. "What?"

"Do you know what French gay porn is?"

"Excuse me."

"YaOUI!"

Japan stared blankly at France. "France-san, I think you should leave now. I do not appreciate your puns damaging the aesthetic of my home."

France patted Japan's shoulder, smiling reassuringly at him. "It's okay Japan, not everyone appreciates my fabulous sense of humour. Farewell, Japan."

And with that, France transformed into Magical Strike and used his magic to fly off into the sparkly Japanese skies.

The end.


	72. Chapter 72

One fine day, Sealand decided to try and convince everyone he was indeed a country. Again.

"I am a country!" Sealand said determinedly.

"You can't become a country until you prove you can understand politics!"

Sealand let out a girlish scream. "GOD? IS THAT YOU? I'M SORRY I STOLE ALL THE BEER FROM THE SPARKLE PARTY I DIDN'T MEAN IT I'M JUST A YOUNG GUY LOOKING FOR SOME FUN-"

"Excuse me? I am anime Jesus you fool, don't you know god is Doitsu?!"

Sealand looked up to see anime Jesus glaring down at him. "Oh! JESUS, I'M SORRY I STOLE THE BEER FROM TH-"

"Shut up," said anime Jesus, "You said you wanted to become a country, right?"

Sealand nodded.

"Well, prove to me you understand country shit."

"Fishing expedition*," said Sealand in a seductive voice.

"What," Anime Jesus looked distraught, "Kid, don't do that again. Anything else?"

"Obama x Putin is the equivalent of Rusame..?"

Anime Jesus nodded proudly. "Yes, good, you are now an official country. Now go show off your official country-ness to all your friends or else the effects will wear away."

Sealand paused. "But I don't have any friends..."

"Farewell," Jesus said quickly and disappeared.

Sealand stood their confused. Now he was a country. And he needed friends. Dammit, being a country was harder than he thought.

To be continued.

* * *

*Fishing expedition is an actual political term.


	73. Chapter 73

One day, America was in the mood to piss everyone off. Even though that's exactly what he did on a daily basis without realizing it. America, what are you even doing with your life.

Nation No. 1: China

"Hey, China, hey, your children are hot as fuck, okay."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY PRECIOUS BABIES I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH VULGAR LANGUAGE AROUND MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE DUMPLINGS YOU STILL OWE ME MONEY-"

America walked out the door.

Nation No. 2: England

"Hello mother dearest."

"WhAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME MOTHER. I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING MOTHER YOU SODDING WANKER. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I TOP THE FUCK OUT OF FRA-"

America didn't want hear anymore after that.

Nation No. 3: Japan

"UWAHH JAPAANNNN I'M CRYINGGG, ERERI IS SO KAWAIIIII AND SOOOO CANON!"

Japan merely smiled murderously at America. "America-san, I suggest you should leave now if you don't want me to castrate you. Don't you know Eruri is where it's at? You little shit."

America sweat dropped. Maybe he shouldn't piss off Japan.

TO BE CONTINUED...?


	74. Chapter 74

Romano was mad. Very mad. Specifically at Germany. Why? Just because, Germany was... a potato eater.

And he never invited Romano to his sparkle parties! Not that Romano cared, the Asian sparkle parties were much better than the German ones.

So Romano decided to show Germany just how mad he was.

"Ay, Germany. Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"...To get to the other side?"

"No. To visit the idiot's house. Knock knock."

Germany was confused. "...who's there?"

"The chicken," Romano burst out laughing. "I GOT YOU SOOOO BAD, OH MY GOD, AHAHA! YOU'RE SUCH A FOOL. I'M CRYING-"

Germany didn't get it so he walked away, unamused. Meanwhile, Romano kept manically laughing until Spain came to take him away.

The end.


	75. Chapter 75

One day, Canada was so sick of America's shit so hE GRABBED A FUCKING MOOSE FROM A CANADIAN FOREST AND USED IT TO INJURE AMERICA.

"EH, ALFRED! DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S RUDE TO INTERRUPT PEOPLE, EH?! AND STEALING MAPLE SYRUP IS FELONY. IT'S. NOT. NICE. TU RASIN PUTAIN!"

"Ow ow ow ow ow oW, hey, stop, do you know how long it takes to straighten my hair- sTOP-"

"I HOPE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON YOU SICK FUCK"

The end.


	76. Chapter 76

One day, Hungary was so sick of Prussia not accepting his homo do she uPGRADED HER FRYING PAN TO LEVEL 666 AND BASHED PRUSSIA WITH IT.

"STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCK BOY AND GO SCREW SOMEONE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL VIRGIN EVEN AFTER I SPRAYED YOU WITH PHEROMONES TO ATTRACT CUTE BOYS"

"IT'S RUDE TO SUDDENLY HIT AWESOME PEOPLE LIKE M-"

"STFU"

It is unknown how Hungary said "stfu" out loud but she did and it is very wise not to question it.

The end.

* * *

A/N: Holy shit I haven't updated in a while :o thanks mom.  
Anyhoo, I neED MORE REQUESTS? I have zero inspiration I think I've lost it in the midst of IRL.

help


	77. Chapter 77

One day, Romano decided humans are terrible and he hated them all so he replaced everyone in the mafia with cats. Cats are great, don't look at Romano like that.

"Listen up, I won't repeat myself, today we're going to destroy Spain's ass!"

"Meow."

"NOT LIKE THAT! I MEAN- OH MY GOD-" Romano blushed, flailed wildly and ran out of the room in embarrassment.

The cats looked at each other and shrugged. They knew Spamano was canon anyway.

The end.


	78. Chapter 78

The adventures of Sealand the official country!1!1!one11!

"Give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle," whispered anime Jesus from the sky.

Sealand gave the sky a thumbs up. Now, who should he tell about his newly formed country status? England? No way, that old man would never believe him. What about France, England's most hated (loved) rival? If it was in England's disfavour, then France must believe him. Yeah, this was a good idea.

Sealand used country magic to go over to wherever France was.

"Hi uNCLE FRANCE!" yelled Sealand.

"Mon dieu," said France in surprise as he dropped French cheese onto the floor.

"Sorry abOUT YOUR CHEESE BUT I'M A COUNTRY NOW!"

France look at the cheese in disdain. "Oh.. congratulations then.. my cheese.."

WILL FRANCE EVER GET HIS CHEESE BACK? IS SEALAND REALLY A COUNTRY? DOES ANIME JESUS REALLY EXIST OR IS HE JUST AN ILLUSION LIKE ALL LIVING THINGS OF THIS EARTH? WHY AM I SHOUTING? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z

to be continued,,,,

* * *

A/N: Please don't kill me! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, IRL stuff happened.. I don't know if this will be updated as frequently as a few months before but I won't let this fic die! Especially since today's it's one year anniversary (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ one year of badly written crack, what else do you need in life? But seriously, I'm glad it made people smile even if it's the lamest thing ever written with bad attempts of humour (╭￣3￣)╭  
sorry for the ramble!  
Hope you are well and see you soon!


	79. Chapter 79

During a world meeting, while everyone was freaking out, Japan realized just how fucking cute he really was.

"If I am correct.. This could lead to a huge increase of yaoi manga sales... I am quite amazing. And cute," Japan said softly to himself, "So very cute.."

And so, the adventures of Japan's fucking cuteness and yaoi manga began.

* * *

Japan shipped a lot of countries. He even shipped a lot of them with himself (America and Prussia are pretty fucking hot). Hey, the more the merrier. Though, his OTP would have to be GerIta because there is no other ship that was gayer than them.

"Germany-san," said Japan, taking Germany's hand in his own, his cuteness on full power, "Please marry Italia-kun.. or at least make out. I need some action for my new manga."

Germany let out a manly squeak and blushed. Holy shit, did Japan always look like this?! And what did he say? Germany couldn't even remember because he was so overwhelmed by the cuteness.

"I- of course! Italy, since we're practically married, let me take you on a date!"

"Ta KE ME Doi T sU!" Italy said. It is up to the reader to decide what Italy means by that.

Japan smiled. Perfect. His new manga is going to be fan-fucking-tastic.

The end.

* * *

A/N: It's almost 3 AM and I don't even know  
forgive me for I have sinned


	80. Chapter 80

A/N: I'm alive! World twinkle was great! I'm! So! Pumped! For! The! Halloween! Special!  
And the NetherPan episode is going to come out holy duck.  
but anyway, sorry for inactivity, I don't have a life so this was due wayyyy back. Feel free to punch me!  
Request for Italy taking drivers ed and badass!Japan (aka my main ho)

Italy was taking drivers ed.

The driving instructor looked warily at the Italian man, or more specifically his curl and has the strange urge to pull it. But his instincts told him that's a bad idea.

Italy started up the car and the car exploded.

The driving instructor screamed.

But.

Japan swoops in and SAVES THE DAY! BECAUSE HE'S SO FUCKING COOL, AM I RIGHT?! And also, if Italy died, Gerita would stop being canon and Germany would have to be with someone like France and that simply wouldn't do because France belongs with England

And, because Italy was his friend, of course.

Japan used his SUPER COOL NINJA SKILLS to save Italy and the driving instructor, who scampered away, probably scarred for life. He's probably frightened by all Italians now, bless.

Japan used his NARUTO RUNNING POWER to go to Germany's house and placed Italy in Germany's arms.

"Take care of your wife, Doitsu-san," said Japan.

Germany nodded, even if he was slightly confused.

"Make sure to fight the man who hurt your family, and take revenge for the death of your father," Japan added before he took out a pair of badass sunglasses. He put them on and walked away like a fucking boss.

"Thank you, Japan. You are a national treasure," said Germany.

Japan kept walking away while an explosion happened in the background.

(⌐■_■)-


	81. Chapter 81

One day, the author of this story decided to visit her children (let's call her Author-chan).

Author-chan first visited her main bitch; Japan.

"Stay hot forever, okay, my cute and precious bby?" said Author-chan to Japan.

Japan was confused but then realised that this 'Author-chan person was just another human nerd. "Of course," he replied and patted her on the head and she silently screeched as tears came gushing out of her eyes. Japan looked at her sympathetically and passed her a tissue.

"And.. I ship you with everyone so make out with them sometime, okay?" Author-chan sniffed and ran away.

/

Author-chan then went to visit Iceland.

"FUCKING EMO PIECE OF SHIT," shouted Author-chan at Iceland.

Iceland took no notice because he already knows he's an emo piece of shit.

/

Author-chan went to America and slapped him. With affection.

"why" said Author-chan, not capitalising the word or adding a comma because she was distraught. "why are you so dkfkgmfndndjjfkfkfkf"

America shrugged but appreciated her loving slap.

/

"ily" said Author-chan to Romano.

Romano told her to fuck off. But Author-chan knew he meant it lovingly.

/

"I love you all, my sweet little angels," said Author-chan. She then went to a different fandom and told them she loved them the most. Author-chan is a cheater; a 'fandom whore', who should not be trusted.

A/N: I doubt many people will see this but im sorry I disappeared for ages ! SWEATS ive lost a lot of interest for hetalia fandom tbh- I haven't watched the stage play or any of the extra episodes oops- iSTILL LOV TJEM THOUHG- aaah life is stressful.  
SRY IM RAMBLING AGAIN  
ill be back.


	82. Chapter 82

Hong Kong and Canada stared at each other for quite a while.

"We have the same birthday, eh?" Canada chuckled darkly. Hong Kong nodded and narrowed his eyes.

"There can only be one, you know," said Hong Kong, "We're going to have to fight to the death.."

Canada laughed, "May the best man win."

They both took out their weapons of choice. This battle would be difficult as both Canada and Hong Kong were extremely skilled warriors. There was a loud bang on the door. "Both of you! You don't have to do this! Please... there's got to be another way!" The voice was desperate, on the verge of tears but the two nations took no notice of it.

They both whipped out their Nintendos, the sound of the game filled the room.

Pokemon.

This was the only way.

e.

"I challenge you, Canada!"

The battle was indeed extremely hard. Blood, sweat and tears were shed. But then, the screen of their weapons blacked out.

"I don't have any charge..."

"Fuck... same."

"Next year?"

"Next year."

* * *

A/N: hi its me, the one you've probably forgotten about oops

I was reading the reviews (aLL OF THEM) and im happy i made other people laugh even though this fic is utter garbage ;w; thank you for reading!

updates are still sporadic, unfortunately. i hope to see you all soon.


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